Red. That was the colour he loved most; the red of his mothers lips as she kissed him goodnight. Then there were others. Bright yellow. Sky blue. Pink flowers. Orange fruits. Green trees. There was a time when he could remember seeing all the colours as they were; vibrant and full of life. He remembers sitting on the roof of their small house, staring at all the different shades as they merged together forming the landscape of the city. Of course, at that time they just looked like bright dots and squiggles to him, and yet he would stare at them all day, as children do, and delight in their presence as they danced before his eyes.
He does not remember seeing that much life in a very long time.
“Please sir, will you buy-” he was cut off. The man didn’t even look at him before shoving past. Looking around at the practically deserted street he wonders when his life became so dark. Somewhere along the line everything had transformed into shades of brown and black. Dead. He could no longer see the rich turquoise of the sea, let alone feel its soothing breeze on his face; the golden yellow brightness of the sun had turned into an enemy he was forced to hide from during the day, and even the sweet smell of the cherry-red roses he sold every afternoon were lost on him.
When did this happen? How long has it been?
‘Forever’ something whispers into his mind. Indeed it had been forever. As soon as the innocence of childhood wore off he saw what a harsh world it was and he realized how hard his parents worked just to keep from being evicted from their small two-room bungalow. He realized his life would be a constant struggle to make ends meet, just as theirs was. Suddenly, he had been taken out of the peaceful paradise he resided in, and instead was thrown into a world consisting of sharp oranges, dark blues, blood reds, and deceiving purples. And he had fought. Oh, how he had fought to change it back, but no matter how he tried, he knew too much; he had seen too much to be able see the world as he had perceived it before. But even that cold, sinister existence was better then the vacant, colourless one he lived in now. It had been so long since he had any amount of happiness in his life, that it was hard for him to believe he ever had any. The only memory of joy he had was the one where he was sitting on the roof, hypnotized by the psychedelic sky.
Sighing, he sits on the floor at the side of the street and puts the box with his few selling-items beside him. Looking at them closely, the dazzling colours of the assorted stationary look so bright beside the dull blue of his faded out jeans; they look so luminous to him that the colour almost blinds him and he has to look away. The colour was a sign of hope and there was no time for that in his life.
He leans his head against the cold brick wall behind him, and unconsciously starts rubbing one of the pens on the rough pavement, as if to wear off the colour. When had all the sharp corners and dark, menacing tones faded? When had the canvas of his life been smeared with the same shade of grey? He remembers all to well when it happened, yet he tries so hard to forget. But sometimes, just sometimes when he gets exhausted, his mind wonders to where he commands it not to go.
He remembers that they were both there, selling odd things that their parents had given them. They were both there, among the sharp jabbing colours, yet somehow, at that time the red didn’t seem so bloody, and the purple didn’t seem so deceiving. They were both there, but only one of them survived. They were there, involved in their sales and suddenly there was a car, a flash of the brightest yellow that he had ever seen, and then there was nothing. When he woke up and saw the tears and the despair, suddenly his life changed. There was no more colour, no more hope and nothing more to look forward to. The world had always been the darkest shades of grey, it had just been painted and disguised to look more appealing, but he knows the truth now, and he accepts it.
He knows he should go home, but he can’t find it within himself to get up. The floor is cold, yet he can barely feel it, he is numb except for the growing feeling of blackness shadowing over his heart. Closing his eyes he watches the small specks of glowing dots create patterns behind his eyelids, and smiles, hoping the glow will become bigger and bigger until it consumes him as it had consumed his brother. He imagines the glow lighting ablaze and devouring the whole world. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful end? The world ending in such astonishingly beautiful, yet tragic way? He feels a jab in his abdomen and waits patiently for the pain, the darkness, or the glow of intense light to take over his body, but alas it doesn’t. Instead he hears this stomach grumble in hunger. Frowning he places a hand over his empty stomach, willing it to keep quiet.
Be silent! I can not feed you; there is hardly enough money to take home.
He pushes himself off the ground and scraping up his assorted stationary he walks towards a car that has just stopped in front of a department store across the street. Leaning towards the window he sees a small girl and her older brother inside the car, apparently waiting for someone in the shop. He knocks on the window and gestures towards his stationary. Though the elder son pays him no heed, the little girl turns around and stares at him. She does this for several moments, her expression looking pensive as she frowns slightly, her dark hair making her look older then she is. Then suddenly her emerald-gold eyes seem to brighten with understanding and giving a little nod, she leans over in her seat and rummages around the back of the car. After a few seconds she looks up with an expression of triumph, and opening up the window she slips something through the crack to him. He stares, perplexed, at what appears to be a little red box of chocolates, for so long that it seemed the red had fused into is eyes. When he looks up he realises the car has sped away.
Opening the box, he picks up a piece, and as he unwraps it and pops it into his mouth he feels his world explode with taste and colour. It had been so long since he had eaten something with such rich flavour. He sighs and closes his eyes, wanting to savour the moment. A little girl, someone he had never met before, noticed that he was hungry and gave him something to eat. The sheer goodness of her act completely baffles him. All he knows is that this simple act made him feel warm inside, and suddenly the lively colours don’t hurt his eyes and the world doesn’t seem so grey.
He glances down at the colourful chocolate wrappers and looking at them one by one, he grins for the first time in ages as the colours jump back at him, each one opening a door within him that he had shut and bolted years ago. Opening up a red-wrapped chocolate, he pops to into his mouth, then gathering up his things, he starts walking in the direction of home.
